Empty Drawers

“The poet has an obligation to dissect his own corpse and reveal the symptoms of its illness to the world.” – Natsume Soseki

This is a quote from the book Kusamakura I just read by the Japanese author Natsume Soseki; it is about a man and his journey through the mountains and how he deals with strange encounters along the way. I feel that lately, since the death of my dear Abuela, I have been climbing the mountain but without the proper equipment.  

Each morning Abuela would go to organize her drawers every day, at the time I thought that was crazy, to me what could be the difference in a day to go back and redo it all. Now that I am 23 I am coming to understand that it has a deeper meaning then curing someone boredom

I don’t think I have ever looked at my drawers that are full of every negative thought that you can think of, I keep them safe and ready for daily use.  I have always found it easier to show love to others than to myself. I look into my drawers, and  I am instantly overwhelmed, not even wanting to start to pull it out, because I may find something that has been hidden beneath all the dust for so long, I may not be able to face it.   I must comply with what the quote says; not only am I responsible for letting my truth be known to others, I must make it be known to myself. 

No time, No time, No time, is the beginning words to a song that Abuela and I wrote together all those years ago. I am letting my fear take each second of my time.

“For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand,
Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13

I know one thing for sure it is time for me to empty my drawers. How about you?