My Cherry Tree

It looks like; lately, I have had so much to say; it is because I have finally come to understand that writing is my life partner; it is my love. I feel that I can indeed be myself with words they seem to get me, but somehow my thoughts don’t, how can that be, well my views are based on what my mind wants me to believe, my thoughts aren’t to understanding, but the one thing they are good at is giving me the words to express, but other times they shut me down completely.  I have so many questions that I search the answers through words; I pray that I get them right. What is my dream?,  is what my thoughts ask me all the time, but my heart is too hurt to say, but here is what I think it is.

To be the best reflection of God and my parents, but I think it is more of an expectation. No, my dream is to be fully alive; I am not sure I always am. There are days where I can look over the cherry tree that my Abuela taught me to climb, and others I can barely see the sky. No one knows what it is like to live like me. I must continue to reach new heights on that tree without anyone there. My Abuela showed me exactly where to put my foot so I wouldn’t fall, but lately, I stumble and fall again with so many bruises and scrapes that it feels numb. I can feel my heart at a standstill, it weeps. I miss that cherry tree. I can only hope that Abuela is watching over it for me. I just added a new dream to my list; to own my cherry tree.